Sunday, 18 December 2011

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The reasons why Parent Bloggers are cooler than Rock Stars

Last month the NME published their '2011 Cool List', the list of the 50 coolest "Rock Stars" on the planet right now.  You can read all about it here - NME Cool list 2011

Without doubt everyone featured is pretty cool but I often wonder who NME use as a benchmark to compare these cool Rock Stars with.  With no spokesperson available for comment (to be honest, I didn't even ask!), I decided I would take it upon myself to find this 'control' group.  The first group I could think of was, unsurprisingly, Parent Bloggers.

Parent Bloggers and Rock Stars are actually more similar than we think - we are both role models for a younger generation, neither of us gets much sleep and we both know how to partay! I wasn't there but the recent Tots 100 Christmas party sounded a lot livelier than an NME Awards do I once went to!

But when all is said and done, who really is the coolest? Well, ladies and gentleman, today we are going to find out.

Using NME's 'Ten Commandments of Cool', the criteria that accompanied the Cool List, I am going to put a case across for each as to why Parent Bloggers are potentially cooler than Rock Stars and then use a simple scoring system to find a winner.

Please be warned that there are some 'Parental Advisory' words relating to Jools Holland and multi-storey car parks (not at the same time though) that NME provided in their 'commandments'. Anyway, here goes :

1. WEAR THE UNWEARABLE If you carry off a look that a mere civilian would be attacked in the street for rocking, you is da shiz.

The case for Parent Bloggers - parents are renowned for wearing more than just clothes in the street - it's usually made up of snot, our baby's breakfast etc. Oh and at least we dress ourselves and don't let our record company do it for us - that is NOT cool.

Parent Bloggers 1 Rock Stars 0

2. TERRORISE THE MAINSTREAM There's nothing cooler than making Jools Holland shit himself.

The case for Parent Bloggers - okay, Rock Stars, who is going to clean the mess up? Not bloody us matey! However, we will probably have some spare nappies on us to help Jools out in his hour of need, and that's pretty cool.

Parent Bloggers 2 Rock Stars 0

3. CULTIVATE THE MEDIA The less we know about you, the more we want to orally pleasure you in multi-storey car parks.

The case for Parent Bloggers - there was obviously a typo in this commandment as NME had spelt aural wrong but...sorry, hang on a minute. What's that? (sorry my PR advisor needs to tell me something).

Really?!! In a multi-storey car park?!! That's very unhygienic with all of those exhaust fumes and everything! Do you know if they're referring to an NCP? You can't confirm. Okay.

Well erm...what's so cool about that anyway?!!

Parent Bloggers 3 Rock Stars 0

4. BE COMFORTABLE WITH 'COOL' The cool don't have to say they're cool. They KNOW they're cool. Knowing you're NOT cool is not cool.

The case for Parent Bloggers - Oh COME ON, have you ever seen the way we act at kids' parties and dance at Wedding receptions?!

Parent Bloggers 4 Rock Stars 0

5. HAVE PHYSICS-DEFYING HAIR Cool used to be about how little you could see through your fringe; now it's about how much Cochrane you've got in your curl.

The case for Parent Bloggers - How do we know what our hair looks like anyway - we never have time to look in the mirror?!

Parent bloggers 5 Rock Stars 0

6. BEEF UP THE BEEFS Nothing says 'fuck you, Media Training Advisor!' more than slagging off other acts in print with nary a care for who your dressing room is pitched next to at festivals.

The case for Parent Bloggers - we're lovers not fighters, that's much cooler.

Parent bloggers 6 Rock Stars 0

7. TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN 'Closure' is back, and cheering up is the new moping about like a twat.

The case for Parent Bloggers - Hmmm, I haven't seen much evidence from Rock Stars of them fulfilling this commandment recently, to be honest.  Parent Bloggers, on the other hand, are a happy go lucky bunch even when we look and feel like zombies.

Parent bloggers 7 Rock Stars 0

8. COMEBACK WITH CONFIDENCE Every Tom, Dick and Dodgy is reforming, so give us every ounce of nostalgia with nobs on.

The case for Parent Bloggers - yeah right, you'll 'Comeback with confidence' if the money is right, eh?!  I, and many other bloggers before me, never have, and probably never will, earn a penny from blogging (I have won a Trunkisaurus, yes, but that was in a competition. There's no law against Rock Stars entering competitions y'know?!) We do this cause with love it! Where's your passion?! Where are you?! Let's be having you?!!! Sorry, erm...went a bit 'Delia Smith' on you there! Anyway, I think I've made my point (and won us another one - yes!!!)

Parent bloggers 8 Rock Stars 0

9. INNOVATE Credibility comes wrapped in fresh ideas as naturally as Odd Future records come wrapped in parental warning stickers.

The case for Parent Bloggers - even I have innovated in my time as a Blogger and written blog posts that don't just focus on music, like this one - 'AKA...Two Honeymooners and a baby vs two American cops and a yellow fluffy duck'  Status Quo, on the other hand, still only use three chords.

Parent bloggers 9 Rock Stars 0

10. JUST 'HAVE IT' Sorry Dalston Superstars: some people are descended from a strata of our species known as Homo Bossasfookus.

I'll let the Rock Stars have this one as a consolation as, to be honest, I feel a bit sorry for them and their underperformance.  Beaten by Parent Bloggers - ha ha! Who'd have thought it?!!

FINAL SCORE : Parent bloggers 9 Rock Stars 1

So, there you have it, it's official - Parent Bloggers are without doubt cooler. 

Right then, all together now - "9-1 to the parent blogs, 9-1 to the parent blogs, 9-1..."

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Mix-Tape Monday #7 : A Song That Means Something Special

When I first met my wife, this song was the ringtone on her phone. 

It therefore always reminds me of her.  That's why it means something special to me.

To join in, click on the Mix-Tape Monday badge over there to the right.  Down a bit. Nearly there. That's the one.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

My favourite Christmas song - re-released with Mix-Tape Monday #8 Bonus Track

This blog post has been re-released as part of Boo and Me's Mix-Tape Monday #8. I like to see it as a bonus track but it's probably more of a 'Lazy Git remix'. To join in with Mix-Tape Monday, please click on the badge on the right hand side of this blog.

This was the original blog post :

I was meant to be going to see The Vaccines - one of my favourite bands at the moment - tonight.  However, I'm feeling a bit under the weather so had to give it a miss.  I'm a bit gutted so, as the perfect antidote, I thought I'd do a festive meme and get into the Christmas spirit instead.

It was the beautiful man @SAHDandproud who tagged me in this cheeky little festive meme and it is called 'My favourite Christmas song'.

There were loads of candidates but I've added a further challenge into the mix in that I want to choose a song that I think @SAHDandproud will like.  He explained on his blog that he 'loathes (the usual) Christmas songs' and his choice of song was instead a Christmas Carol, the video of which he appeared in and, by the sounds of it, Cilla Black isn't allowing to be published on You Tube because he yawns in it!

But, do you know what, I think I might have cracked it?! Actually, on second thoughts, if he doesn't like Tim Minchin then I probably haven't.

Recently, the Australian comedian released an excellent Christmas song called 'White Wine in the Sun'.  It's the perfect balance of his brilliant comedy genius with the sentimentality of Christmas.  It never fails to turn on musodad's waterworks I can tell you.  Being a father of two young girls, this is the verse that always gets to me :

'And you, my baby girl
My jetlagged infant daughter
You'll be handed round the room
Like a puppy at a primary school
And you won't understand
But you will learn someday
That wherever you are and whatever you face
These are the people who'll make you feel safe in this world...'

It's those last four lines that do it.

Again I'd like to thank @SAHDandproud for tagging me and I hope I have made him reappraise his views on Christmas Songs.  As always with memes, to keep the dream alive, it's time to tag some more people :

@infantisaurus01 as he's the only dad blogger I know who will be doing the same as Tim this Christmas (the lucky old so and so)

@belfast_dad and @The_Last_Slayer as they've both got great tastes in music and I'm intrigued as to what they'll choose

@Ghostwritermumm as I want to see if one of She & Him's Christmas songs has made it to the top of her list

@marchharetales as I used to sit next to her on the school coach 18 years ago and I've since forgotten what her Christmas song tastes are like (and I don't think she's been tagged in a meme yet so it's about time she was 'initiated into the cult')

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Mix-Tape Monday #5 : The first song I bought

"Poor old Johnny Raaayyyyyyyyyy!"

I purchased the 7-inch single of this song, with my pocket money, from WH Smith when I was seven years old.

The song has followed me around ever since - being played in night clubs, the Student Union bar, Weddings etc. - and it always has a habit of bringing people together in a large group hug before they all jump up and down in a frantic manner in time to the music.

I loved it when I was 7 and, nearly 30 years later, I still do...

To join in, click on Boo and Me's 'Mix-Tape Monday' badge over to the right hand side of this blog and down a bit...

Friday, 2 December 2011

'Daddy's Beard' - the debut single by Groovy Conker

Today O. wrote a song for me totally unprompted.  I was very touched, not just because she wrote me a song, but because of the lyrical content as well.  She is only 4 years old and it is brilliant.  If she keeps going like this, my dream of retiring at the age of 50 could well become reality.

I have decided to therefore pencil in a release date of March 2023 for this debut single (please put it in your diaries now) - 2 years short of my 50th birthday.  O. will be 16 by this time (which I believe is old enough for pop stardom considering you can enter X-Factor and it was also the age Britney Spears signed her first record deal - and it did her no harm did it?!) and this will therefore give her a couple of years to build up a fanbase by touring extensively (and therefore not seeing any of her friends) and I can live off the royalties for years to come after that.

Oh and, of course, the song will be released under the moniker 'Groovy Conker'.  If you want to read about the background to this name, you can do so here - musodad's band name game

Anyway, without further ado here is the song.  Please do not attempt to plagiarise it, this blog post is dated so you won't win in a Court of Law (but we could maybe come to some kind of out of court agreement).

If you hadn't already guessed, the song is called 'Daddy's Beard' (I'd just like to point out that I don't actually have a beard but please don't split hairs, she is only 4 for crying out loud!).  Anyway, here goes :

"Daddy, you are nicer than an ice cream sundae.
You have a hairy beard.
I love you more than a lovely princess".

So there it is - told you it was great, didn't I?  I'm going to lay down some Early Learning Centre keyboard over the top of it this weekend and probably add a ukulele solo or two. 

If there are any A&R people reading, please either leave your details in the comments box below or contact me via Twitter - @musodad

I look forward to hearing from you...

Fiction Fridays #4 : Cinderella's Bum

Like most 4 year olds (I hope anyway!), O's three favourite words at the moment are poo, wee and bum.  It is therefore no surprise that 'Cinderella's Bum' by Nicholas Allan (also responsible for the excellent 'The Queen's Knickers') is one of her favourite books at the moment.  It's very funny - I guarantee you will love it too!

The opening line is : "My big sister's always worried about her bum.  But I think it is lovely!"

Want to join in?  Click on the badge below and let @homedad tell you how...